Castellas, Double Diamond & Donkey Jackets

Aldershot. A proper old fourth division side whose name will always remind me of James Alexander-Gordon reading out the scores on Sports Report back in the seventies on the Light Programme as my old man jacked up the heating in his Hillman Minx on the way back from GGL on a cold December Saturday tea-time. […]

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You Can Keep Ya Bloody Thameslink

When is a bad day at the office made much worse? When does a simple little away trip to the arse end of London, drive you to the point of near exhaustion? If a midweek trip to Boredom Wood is bad enough, imagine having to spend over five hours trying to escape the place & […]

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It’s a Brough Old Life

Back in the drunken haze that was the Conference South title winning celebrations, we tried with difficulty to focus on the list of teams we’d be facing this season. One of them it seemed was North Furby, where no doubt those annoying little electronic burping, gurling children’s toys come from. Then we focused a bit […]

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Ooh Aah…Just a Little Bit

After last night’s taste of the big time at Wembley, it’s back down to earth with about as bread and butter a Conference game as it’s possible to get. Barrow at home. Old scool. I just hope they don’t have that bloody Cowperthwaite bloke up front any more. Having stumbled in at 2am that morning, […]

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Got Nil-Nil Written All Over It

So it’s FA Cup First Round day! Time to dust off the old Amber & Chocolate rosette, grab you wooden clacker and hoist the second biggest tin-foil cup you own (the biggest one obviously being your tin-foil Surrey Senior Cup) high above you head. After the defeat of the Vegans & Vegetarians in the round […]

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The Duke of York

The time was around two o’clock, or was it one o’clock? Maybe it was two o’clock/one o’clock? Something like that. Anyway doesn’t matter what time it was. All that mattered was what was happening right in front of me, The Firm Leader was engaging in doing his interpretation of 1996’s Los Del Rio’s Macerena with […]

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The Giraffe, the Pelly & Emily

Hello Gandermonium readers and welcome to another blog from Robbo for the home fixture against Maidstone United.  For literacy bods you may notice the title of this blog as being one of Roald Dahl’s works and as a child I loved reading his books – Charlie Bucket what a hero! However, as Taz pointed out […]

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A Pub Crawl with Betty Ford

There was a quiet murmur in the room, the smell of anticipation was everywhere. Some of the lads were up at the front, their expectation like that of school kids waiting for the tuck shop to open. Others that were more experienced in these situations had more of a look of mild disappointment that comes […]

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Come On Everybody!

We’re always moaning, amongst other things, about the draws the FA decide to lumber us with in their competitions. The reasons for this are simple. We’re miserable bastards and the FA keep making us go to Hemel fucking Hempstead. Thankfully however, this year they’ve been way more generous. Our reward for entering at the last […]

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Dos 500 Dukey 498

Greetings fellow readers, first things first Tuesday was not only another away game loss to Dover Athletic but it was also yours truly’s birthday – some good guesses on how old I really am have been made, some not so good! Although I am sure the world and his wife could clearly see how over […]

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