Tin Tin’s Dog

It’s now two weeks since the U’s went down swinging at MK Dons and sharted their way out of the Football League after three long years as one of the Great 92 72. And after 9 months of all that carry on and what not, you’d of course naturally expect that the one thing we’d […]

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¿Dónde está Debbie de Bolton? – Football Abroad

So our lil’ jaunt on the Spanish Main continues to roll on. The moving of our planned match of Chairman Totts much beloved Hercules from Sunday to Saturday at such a short notice had scuppered our original plan. But from somewhere, the footballing ground-hopping gods have given us a lifeline as a match is found […]

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Cuidado con ese árbol! – Football Abroad

A tough, grinding season’s finally over, the manager has fucked off and so far so has about half of last year’s squad. So you’d think now would be a good time to go and rediscover real life, start clocking up the brownie points with the other halves and generally forget all about the beautiful game […]

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Taken up the Rico Perez – Football Abroad

Standing on Gander Green Lane at 4.30am on a late November Sunday morning in the biting cold and pissing rain you cannot but help wondering what the fuck it is that you are actually doing with your life. I’m tired, hungry, a bit hungover and waiting for Tony Bacon to bowl up from the Park […]

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Top o’the Mornin’ to Ya

Damn the bloody penalty shoot-out! It can be such a cruel way to decide a football match. They really should just bring back the old school skool way of drawing lots or even just replay the match until there is a winner. That would be easier to stomach instead of watching your team go out […]

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Adelante Alicante! – Football Abroad

The history of football in Alicante is bound up with the legacy of the Spanish Civil War. This was the last city to fall to Franco and the walls and unmarked graves are pocked with the bullet holes and full of the corpses of the tens of thousands tortured, starved and killed as Falangist reprisals […]

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Made from Gur-durs!

Did you hear the one about English 5th Tier teams being invited to play in the Scottish Challenge Cup this season? Hey, what are you laughing at? What, do we amuse you? This isn’t some sort of silly joke, this is serious! No, you fuck off. Right that’s it sunshine, fucking outside now! Nope, we […]

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Ahoj, Jsi krásná, ukaz kozy! – Football Abroad

Well I suppose that I couldn’t get away with it forever. After managing to convince several friends and family members that I could never make a wedding-related event if it were to ever fall on a match day, they finally figured it out. What if it’s a pre-season match? He won’t be able to use […]

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The Super Tennent’s – Football Abroad

Picture this (if you can), there I was, inside a Kentucky Beef restaurant, Joe Pesci is standing in the corner singing his 1998 non-hit “Wiseguys”, Alec Stewart is regaling to me of the time he scored a century, in his century and on the Queen Mother’s century. And I’m not too sure if it was Jason […]

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A Highland Fling – Football Abroad

As you may know, we occasionally like to take ourselves out of our footballing comfort zone and parachute ourselves into more exotic surroundings in which to witness the beautiful game. We usually prefer somewhere where we don’t speak the lingo, the beer is cheap, the food is strange and the money looks like we printed […]

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