Love Fifteen

So here is my first attempt at covering a Sutton game for the famous Gandermonium blog, the pre-season friendly against Woking. Of course, I have studied with a lot of attention the style of the original writings from this place and discovered that they would most necessarily involve a detailed description of the travel needed […]

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Woking Hard for It….

Yeah yeah, I know. “But Taz, you said writing blogs about watching games on TV was shit! And yet here you are with another effort about watching a game on TV!!”. To be honest, I still stand by that, but the fact that the U’s were 4 games from a possible promotion to the Football […]

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The Joy of Six

So that’s it. The end of 2019. A year that, in what was an otherwise pretty decent decade for Sutton United, turned up late to the party and proceeded to mostly just bum everyone out with its seemingly endless supply of shit, grinding football. Still, the lads at least did what they could to try […]

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Cabbage Crates Coming Over the Briny

A Merry Christmas to all you old buggers! The festive season is now firmly upon us and the games are coming in thick and fast. There’s no rest for the wicked as those of us who’ve hit it hard over the last couple of days are required to head to the wilds of Surrey. That’s […]

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Surbiton Lagoon

Don’t talk to me about heatwaves.  No, seriously, I’m not fucking about. Unless you were there in 76 I don’t want to hear about how sweaty you are and I couldn’t give a shit about the CO2 crisis when we had to use FUCKING STANDPIPES in the street just to get a drink of water. […]

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Rock the Cock

Greetings to you, our loyal Gandermonium readers for this latest blog against Surrey rivals Woking. Let us firstly track back to the previous week though and a cancelled trip to Halifax.  It seems that white stuff of the cold variety struck a lot of the UK and caused the postponement of many football matches across […]

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All Mod Cons

“I know i come from Woking, and you say I’m a fraud. but my hearts in the City where it belongs…” Can’t possibly start off a blog about Woking without quoting its most famous son, yep, the Weller Fella, the old Modfather himself, a man worshipped by our own desert boot fetishist and turnstile spinner […]

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Von Ryan’s Express

If you were to use a popular internet search engine and enter the phrase ‘Painfully long and unnecessarily drawn out processes’, next to results like the refurbishment of London Bridge station and Belly deciding what fucking pint to have when stood at the bar you’d most likely find ‘Sutton United’s attempts to confirm further National […]

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Dos 500 Dukey 498

Greetings fellow readers, first things first Tuesday was not only another away game loss to Dover Athletic but it was also yours truly’s birthday – some good guesses on how old I really am have been made, some not so good! Although I am sure the world and his wife could clearly see how over […]

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Anne Frank’s Diary

SURREY SENIOR CUP 5th ROUND Att: 279 WOKING – 3   [Sole 13. Morgan 56. Norville 88] SUTTON UNITED – 1   [Johnson 39] I’ll be honest with you dear reader, the match reports have been a real pain in the arse this season. What with the dreadful stuff served up on the pitch most […]

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