Banstead Mental Hospital FC

Delving into the past on a subject that has had very little coverage on-line or in print really is a shot in the dark but starting off from a few core reference points and then plunging in and seeing where the journey takes you can be hugely satisfying. And this trip through the brief senior […]

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Jolly Festive Uncle

Picture the scene.  The poor house is cold.  It stinks of damp, Dettol and overcooked sprouts.  At a rickety old table huddle a group of pale looking urchins. They are proper fucked to be honest, having spunked every last penny and more on awayday trips to the likes of Scotland, Dublin and an endless stream […]

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Packing Like Bindon

I’m not one to bang on about the Good Old Days as you know but I was reminded this week that it’s exactly forty years since Ian Dury released his number one smash Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick and the Jam were riding high in the album charts with the seminal Old Mod Cons. […]

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Taken up the Rico Perez – Football Abroad

Standing on Gander Green Lane at 4.30am on a late November Sunday morning in the biting cold and pissing rain you cannot but help wondering what the fuck it is that you are actually doing with your life. I’m tired, hungry, a bit hungover and waiting for Tony Bacon to bowl up from the Park […]

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Loosened Thrupennies

Aah, Chesterfield, the latest in the parade of Football League stalwarts who sink to a shocker of a season in the fourth tier and suddenly find themselves plunged bollock-naked into the choppy and icy waters of the wacky world we like to call the “National League”. I’m not a smug man as you know but […]

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Mitcham Stadium Mysteries

I love old stuff.  You know that. I also love a bit of local history and have always been fascinated by long-lost sporting venues so when all that comes together into something extraordinary just a few short miles the other side of Rose Hill I’m going to be salivating like Dirty Barry in Bentall’s lingerie […]

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Adelante Alicante! – Football Abroad

The history of football in Alicante is bound up with the legacy of the Spanish Civil War. This was the last city to fall to Franco and the walls and unmarked graves are pocked with the bullet holes and full of the corpses of the tens of thousands tortured, starved and killed as Falangist reprisals […]

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Ten Bob Pimp

I’m not a fan of clubs merging.  It all started going wrong when Corinthians merged with The Casuals for me and it’s been down hill ever since.  I mean, even that bird on Countdown who does all the really hard sums hasn’t got a clue how many thousands of Essex clubs eventually ended up in […]

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Billy Big Bollocks Baloney

“In this world one thing counts….In the bank, large amounts.” I’m a big fan of the old musicals me. Not the current half-arsed bollocks which is basically just a threadbare plot to stitch together an artists back catalogue so they can have another run round the houses milking the royalties. Nope, I’m talking about the […]

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Box Hill or Bust

I need to take a bit of a run up at this one as this is a pre-season friendly that, when it was announced, left me feeling more than a bit conflicted and I’m going to tell you why. Firstly, am I pleased that football is back at Meadowbank? Of course I am, I think […]

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