“Good morning, I’m from Sutton United Football Club.” That’s my new calling card as I signed up for accordion virtuoso AB’s roving sales force for the club and took to the streets of The People’s Republic of West Sutton on Thursday on my trusty old bike to distribute propaganda on behalf of the Great Leader […]
Tag: Conference South
Commit No Nuisance
Its Sunday morning. In fact its half past fuckin’ six on a Sunday morning. And where am I? East Croydon. I walk past MacDonald’s and there is this fella spread-eagled in front of the door, snoring away to his heart’s content. People are stepping over him to get inside the place, how could someone get […]
Rain Rain Go Away…
Have you ever been kicked in the bollocks? Have you ever fallen off your bike and smashed your crown jewels on the handle bars as you went over? Have you ever had a football fired at your knackers at 90 mph, and it’s smashed you so hard you fall to the ground in agony and […]
It’s All Banter-ish
Yeah that’s right banter, bants, or even top b. Just some of the words that are used to describe some of the drivel that emits from our north & south every match. The things we say to each other on a daily basis would be on a totally different playing field to some of the messages that […]
Angry Goalkeeper
Time check-5 pm:- Time to leave work and give it legs to the train station to make the next available train back into Sutton. Sweating like Oscar Pistorius waiting on the verdict at his murder trial I make the change at Sutton, and head back into the wilderness, no phone signal area of Banstead. The […]
The Long and Winding Road
The day began with the usual stomp towards the station on a overcast Saturday morning. There was time for me to get some dollar out and grab a can of the old doctor before hitting up the ticket man for a one day travel card (£5.90 with a railcard). To my surprise I was not just met […]
Wheretoisthat? – One from the archives
So, it’s October and we’re already back to rummaging around in the basement through all our old files looking for some filler to keep you our dear readers happy following a postponement. Marvellous. Still, it could be worse, you could have been me (horrible thought I know, but bear with me) today and found out […]
It’s fixtures time!
At last boys & girls, the wait is over. We can finally start planning our lives again. What pubs to drink dry & be thrown out of, what Non-League dives we’ll be traipsing out to & when. Such joy! Hang on. It says here we’ve got Gosport on a tuesday night?? OI! STRUDWICK! We want […]
Ding Dong!
Well good afternoon my fellow brothers (and sisters!) and welcome to another excerpt of the Gandermonium boys watching the final run in of the 2012/13 season. Today’s opposition were the currently homeless Hayes & Yeading who came down the lane needing a couple more points to keep them in the division for another year. And […]
Here to stay…. – One from the Archives
Afternoon all. Bet you didn’t think you’d be reading another one of these for a while eh? And if you did, then you’re a bit daft. We live in Britain you see. And shit weather is the one thing we do really well, so it shouldn’t be a shock that today’s clash with Salisbury was […]