The Definition Of Offside

CONFERENCE SOUTH Att : 322 MAIDENHEAD UNITED – 2   [Hughes 6. Whiteman 56] SUTTON UNITED – 0 Happy new year my arse. 2006 began in much the same vein as 2005 on Saturday with yet another miserable performance from the U’s. And against another relegation threatened side. One without a home win all season […]

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44 Years And Counting

CONFERENCE SOUTH Att : 950 SUTTON UNITED – 1   [OG 43] BOBBINS – 1   [Nwanze 16] Before we start, I’d just like to wish all our readers a Happy New Year. And this is despite the fact that not one of you miserable fuckers out there sent us a card for Gandermonium’s 8th […]

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Wing And A Prayer

CONFERENCE SOUTH Att : 718 WELLING UNITED – 0 SUTTON UNITED – 0 New Years Eve. What a shit day for a football match eh? Well done whoever dreamt that one up! Still, it could’ve been worse. We’ve only got a short run round the M25 to Welling. Some absolute genius decided poor fuckers like […]

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Are Those All The Lights You’ve Got?

CONFERENCE SOUTH Att : 1053 BOBBINS – 0 SUTTON UNITED – 0 My doesn’t time fly.  It only seems like a couple of weeks ago the season got underway and yet here we are, at Xmas already, with virtually half the games played. And Xmas means only one thing. No no, not turkey. Or that […]

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Another Kick In The Thurrocks

THURROCK – 5   [Janney 28. Cross 52. 80. Goddard 68. 89]  SUTTON UNITED – 3   [Akuamouah 18. Gray 87p. 90p] CONFERENCE SOUTH | Att : 276 If by any chance you find yourself confronted by a person or persons in the very near future quizzing you about a game of Non-League football they could […]

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Shame Shit, Different Cup

FA TROPHY 3rd QUALIFYING ROUND Att : 204 UXBRIDGE – 2   [Nicholls 37. Swaysland 54] SUTTON UNITED – 2   [Elliot 22. Castledine 90] Now, I’m all for maintaining traditions and that, but this is getting ridiculous. Yet again, we’ve faced lower ranked oppo in an FA Competition and failed miserably to make our […]

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Slide Halted……Just

CONFERENCE SOUTH Att : 581 SUTTON UNITED – 1  [OG 85] NEWPORT COUNTY – 1  [Belle 55] I bloody hate missing games. Especially for little or no reason. And that’s what I faced last week. Missing out because you’re utterly skint is one thing. Missing out because your flat has no heating, is freezing fucking […]

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A Woman’s Perspective

CONFERENCE SOUTH Att : 513 EASTLEIGH – 2   [Forbes 89. 90] SUTTON UNITED – 0 Match Reporter: Mrs Chalmers Unfortunately, a slight cashflow problem and faulty central heating (in a secret Volcano lair, I know, embarrassing right?) at Gandermonium HQ meant I had to give our first ever visit to Eastleigh a miss. This […]

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Less Said The Better

CONFERENCE SOUTH Att : 628 SUTTON UNITED – 1   [Gonsalves 87] LEWES – 5   [Sigere 1. 8. 17. 53. Kennet 40] Look, it’s no use trying to rub some imaginary sleep from your eyes like it was some sort of bad dream or horrible nightmare. I know, ‘cos I’ve tried! It really did […]

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