Nigel Brake, With The Ball, From The Halfway Line

CONFERENCE SOUTH Att: 1044 SUTTON UNITED – 4  [Vansittart 32. Scarborough 72. Akuamouah 80. Brake 86.] BOBBINS – 1    [OG 1.] With the Borough’s Xmas bragging rights all sewn up after Boxing Days 2-1 win at Coldsore to go with that League Cup win at GGL a month ago, the U’s welcome our rivals […]

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Same Shit, Different Xmas

CONFERENCE SOUTH Att: 1071 BOBBINS – 1 [Elliot 37.] SUTTON UNITED – 2  [Watkins 73. Gray p75] For most people, Christmas is all about eating turkey, giving gifts and getting pissed a lot. For us, it means a local derby and a chance to inflict some misery on our dear neighbours from Carshalton. Oh and of […]

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What’s A Carthium?

CONFERENCE LEAGUE CUP 1st ROUND Att: 259 SUTTON UNITED – 3    [Boosey 1. Vansittart 28. Gray p90.] CARSHALTON ATHLETIC – 2    [Saunders 18. Hartburn 71.] Now, as you probably realise, the highlight of our season is getting to remind that lot down the road just who’s boss in this here Borough. This year, […]

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Is That It?

SURREY SENIOR CUP 3rd ROUND Att: 405 SUTTON UNITED – 2   [Nurse 39. Boosey 59] BOBBINS – 0 Run! Run for your lives! The Bobbins are coming and they’re madder than hell! Er, sort of…. Well, you’d have thought they would be after getting smashed/annihilated/destroyed/ crushed/stomped/mullered/murdered/thrashed/humiliated/torn apart/mangled/tonked/ thumped (delete as applicable!) 6-0 on their […]

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The Borough Boxing Day Massacre

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 1213 SUTTON UNITED – 6  [Nurse 9. Gray 27. Fowler 60.73.84. Honey 80] CARSHALTON ATH – 0  [Nada. Nothing. Zero. Fuck all] (With thanks to Cathy for lending me her pen. Without which, this report probably wouldn’t have been possible!) Oh lord. Oh sweet fucking lord. Now that’s what I call […]

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What Eight Grand Buys You…

SURREY SENIOR CUP 5TH ROUND Att: 432 SUTTON UNITED – 2 [Fowler 29. Bolt 40] BOBBINS – 0 The U’s recovered from their awful performance on Saturday and as required, got the job done against our old muckers from Coldsore Avenue, managed by our number 1 favouritest human being and saddest fattest greyest old man […]

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Well Done, You Won One…

PRE-SEASON FRIENDLY Att: N/A BOBBINS – 3 [Webb 50.60. Williams 61] SUTTON UNITED – 1 [Hanlan 45] So to our penultimate fixture of what has proved to be a slightly….ahem!……’disappointing’ pre-season program. A meeting with the seemingly revitalised scummy tossers from up the road. Oh goody. With the U’s having managed to field a bare […]

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