Is That It?


Att: 405

SUTTON UNITED – 2   [Nurse 39. Boosey 59]


Run! Run for your lives! The Bobbins are coming and they’re madder than hell!

Er, sort of….

Well, you’d have thought they would be after getting smashed/annihilated/destroyed/ crushed/stomped/mullered/murdered/thrashed/humiliated/torn apart/mangled/tonked/ thumped (delete as applicable!) 6-0 on their last visit to GGL. But not so!

According to Friday’s Comet, they were out for revenge in tonight’s SSC tie for that HUGE defeat exactly a month ago. Apparently, they were really up for this one. And they really, really meant it this time. Honest. No lying. Seriously.

Erm. So what happened then lads?

We certainly expected a tougher game this time round. And in comparison to 27/12, it was a harder game. Although that’s not a great achievement! But the oppo didn’t exactly look like a tortured, humbled team haunted by a terrible defeat and slavering for revenge.

In fact they just looked like the usual traditional Bobbin dross that clutters up the turf at GGL once or twice a season and gets beat.

Still, it’s a nice twist on the usual LBS encounters. Now the Bobbins talk it up big time in the local rag before getting turned over. Which makes it a damn sight funnier!

Tonight was a special little occasion for the crew. Not only were we going to have a good ol’ chuckle at the Bobbins attempts at ‘revenge’ but we were also sponsoring a match ball for the first time, in conjunction with our favourite boozer, the Robin Hood. Which meant dragging the Guv’nor Ken down for the evening.

“Ok, THIS is what we do in that hour & a half we disappear from the pub on a Saturday!”

I arrive in the Hood to find Greek, Windy, Oscar and Dave already making a start on refreshments. Ken soon appears in the bar, wearing a nice yellow sweater. Our cries for a brown marker pen to make it look more U’s-ified are sadly unheeded….

After a couple of bevvies, some childish mocking of the lone Scummer who has wandered in and discussing a possible appearance of Mr Chalmers in the background of the TV show “Rail Cops” on Monday night, it’s time to go. Well, we have to leave now as Ken doesn’t know where the ground is!

Upon arrival, it’s quite obvious that the crowd is somewhat lower than at Xmas. We assume the constant scare mongering over the last few days regarding the apocalyptic ice age we’re apparently about to endure has put one or two people off.

The U’s line up has only one minor change from Saturday, with Glen Boosey replacing the rested Matt Hanlan in midfield. We find ourselves confused for a few moments after the sides run out, as we try to work out who the very tall, bald black fellow is in the no5 shirt for us. Naaaaah, can’t be Jinadu. He’s got a big bad ass pimpin’ Afro…

Well, he HAD a big bad ass pimpin’ afro! Gareth’s shouts of “TOBI!” draws a response from the big defender. It is indeed Mr Jinadu and it seems he’s been to the barbers since saturday!

The Bobbins of course have made a fair few changes from the last meeting. I hope some of those changes include one or two actual players…..unlike last time.

The U’s start the game brightly and Boosey is soon making his presence felt with a ball through the Bobbins defence for Bailey, but it’s a little too far in front of the little midfielder and runs out of play. The oppo soon hit back though and work the ball down our left before putting in a cross that picks out the tall figure of Ali Russell at the near post. A goal looks certain, but Iga produces a great save from the big strikers firm header, not only stopping the effort but holding onto it as well!

About now, a certain U’s fan, who shall remain nameless to save his embarrassment (ok Kev?), arrives. Nothing unusual in that, as sometimes work forces him to miss the first few minutes of matches. But not this time…

“You could have bloody told me it was at home!”

Yep, you got it. Wrong ground. Silly man!

It’s a brief moment of concern as the boys are soon starting to take charge. Honey & Bailey making the midfield pretty much their own. On 11 minutes, Nurse makes a run from deep before switching the ball out to Bailey who’s free on the left. He rolls the ball across the box to Folwer who taps in, but unfortunately the lino on our side has spotted that Bailey was a tadge offside when he recieved Nurse’s pass. Irritatingly, the official had waited until Matty had popped the ball into the net before flagging. Git.

Our next foray into the Scummers area comes on 19 minutes. Fowler laying a neat ball infield from the right touchline to Boosey, who spots the run of Nurse just ahead and threads the ball through the visitors defence. Nursey is clear, but as he gets into the box, he hesitates slightly, seemingly in two minds on what to do next. Borg in the Bobbins goal spots his opportunity and races from his line. Nurse’s options disappear fast and he ends up chipping weakly over the oncoming Borg and well wide of the far post.


We keep pressing, keep playing football and Matt Gray finally finds himself a bit of space down the right, weaving round 2 defenders before whipping in a cross to the back post where Jon Nurse’s forehead awaits. But Nursey can’t quite guide the effort onto the target and his header drifts wide of the mark.

Despite this, JN is still the main threat to the Bobbins defence. His pace and skill, as on that day in December, serously unsettling the Scummers. One darting run down the left ends with him pulling the ball back to the edge of the area for Paul Honey who flashes a shot just wide of the goal.

Despite having had most of the play, we’re starting to feel that going in at 0-0 would give our neighbours a big lift and actually persuade them they’re still in the game. Thankfully, that man Nurse allays our fears and more than likely snuffs out that glimmer of hope for the visitors. The U’s striker recieves the ball with his back to goal some 30 yards or so out from goal towards the right touchline. He turns and with little in the way of support, has a run at the defence.

The Bobbins rearguard deos the worst thing possible and backs off. Nursey takes the invitation and keeps going. Reaching the corner of the 18 yard box still with not much in the way of support, he obviously gets bored of running and decides to have a poke.

Well, the thought probably formed in his mind as “Sod it, I’ll have a poke”, but a nanosecond later, that ‘poke’ has materialised in the form of a vicious, rising left footed drive, that like a missile flies past a startled Borg and slams into the top far corner of the net.

My word, that’s a breathtaking strike!

I think we just found our “goal of the season” winner gentlemen! Yes, I’m fully aware that there’s still a good 3 months of the season still to play, but if there’s a better goal than that this season I’ll buy a hat and eat it.

The goal seems to demoralise the Bobbins slightly and we start to press for a second. Right on the half time whistle a corner is won on the right. Boosey takes and swings it into the box. Nurse gets around his marker and powers in a header, but Borg is alert and makes a very good one handed stop on the line, pushing the ball around the post.

With it being a tad pearl-harbour outside, we naturally head into the bar to warm up. Here Ken discovers the main reason we frequent his fine establishment. The beer in the club is shite!

With the feeling returning to my extremities, it’s time to head back out for the second half. I emerge from the tunnel just in time to see a big punt downfield chased by a Bobbins forward. He heads on from the bounce, but Iga is off his line to collect and snuff out the danger.

The half sees the visitors making a bit more of an impression on the game, but creating very very little. Their attacking efforts amounting to no more than a few balls into the box that Iga has no problem in fielding. Nurse is soon back tormenting the Scummers though. Chasing a long ball down the right, he holds of the defender and pulls the ball back across the box, but sadly there’s no-one there in an Amber shirt to bury the opportunity. But within 10 minutes and with our next serious attack, the opportunity is well and truly buried!

A Bobbins attack falters around our area and the ball ends up in the hands of Iga. He lumps a quick kick forwards, aimed towards Nurse. He chases after it with the Scummers No4 looking favourite to get there first. But the bounce goes against him and Nurse pounces, hassling him off the ball and leaving him on his arse on the turf, legs it into the box. He looks up and spotting Boosey in acres of space at the back post, drops a cross onto his chest, that the young midfielder controls, allows to drop and crashes on the volley past a startled Borg. 2-0. And we love it!

Erm, does someone want to call the Scummers a cab? I think they might be wanting to pop off home now!

The second goal effectively kills the tie and shortly after, Nursey limps off after getting a knock. With our main striking threat off the field, the U’s drop deeper and seem quite happy to sit back and soak up what the vistors can throw at them. Which really isn’t that much to be honest!

On 65 minutes a cross from the right is headed well over the target at the back post, then a cross from the left drifts goalwards forcing Iga to tip the ball over the bar for safety on 71 minutes. But the Bobbins best chance of the half comes in the last 10 minutes when Akuamouah dithers on the ball just outside the box and is dispossessed. The striker hitting his shot low from the corner of the 18 yard box, but it flies wide of the far upright.

And that’s it. The sum total of the rabid, slavering Robins attempt at revenge.

Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. I’d hate to see what this lot play like when they’re not bloody interested………..oh hang on, we have. December 27th 2003.

We hardly notice the cold as we wander back to the Hood, chuckling about another dead easy win, but somewhat bewildered about how a side so poor could occupy 2nd in the table and for so damn long.

Hey, has anyone got that Mulder & Scully’s number? ‘Cos if thats not a fucking X-File, I don’t know what is…

MAN OF THE MATCH :  Paul Honey. Didn’t miss a tackle.

ENTERTAINMENT : 6. A largely dull game to be honest, but livened up by two great strikes.

TEAM : Iga, Gray, Palmer, Jinadu, Quinton, Akuamouah, Boosey, Bailey, Honey, Fowler, Nurse

SUBS :  Fletcher, Hamlin, Tydeman

THE REFEREE’S………not bad! Which is quite strange considering it was a Surrey official!

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