The Sixteen Year Itch

Ah! At last, the opening day of the season! A day greeted with almost universal joy amongst football supporters everywhere. And we here at Gandermonium are no different. Well, at least until we then remember that Sutton United FC are usually absolute toilet in such fixtures. At which point we sigh, shrug our shoulders and […]

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A Game & a Half… – One (& a bit) from the archives

So much for setting this shit up and leaving it to Juan and Dukey to talk bollocks to you all. More rain and yet another postponement which means another trudge to the Archives for Taz. Still, this one should be a bit of a treat. I realised I’d not yet touched on our disastrous Conference […]

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Us Score? You Gotta Be Kidd(y)ing Me!

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE Att: 579 SUTTON UNITED – 0 KIDDERMINSTER HARRIERS – 3   [Barnett 10, Marsh 31, Hadley 83] Well, lets face it, are the U’s actually going to manage just ONE more goal for us long suffering fans this season or are they just gonna bale out on the season and leave us waiting […]

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Ross Is Back. Sadly.

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE Att: 601 SUTTON UNITED – 0           DOVER ATHLETIC – 1   [OG 59] Let me explain. You may remember from the K’s Away report my little tirade about the official that day. Mr Joe Ross of Chingford. If I may qoute from that report to sum up my […]

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Shut That Fat Biffer Up

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE Att: 805 NORTHWICH VICTORIA – 2    [Cooke 50, Owen 67] SUTTON UNITED – 0 Well, that’s it folks. We’re back in the Ryman. Official. Another under par performance condemned Sutton to the delights of Purfleet, Gravesend, Basingstoke, Hitchin and other wonderful places as Woking shocked champions elect Kiddy, Forest Green snatched a […]

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They Only Need 10 Men

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE | Att: 1548 STEVENAGE BOROUGH – 1   [Pearson 86]   SUTTON UNITED – 0 So, another game, another defeat. Well, you didn’t expect anything else did you?? We certainly didn’t. With folorn hearts we met at the Friar & Firkin up in the smoke for a pre-travel pint and a bit of a […]

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Ryman Return Ever Closer

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE Att: 659 SUTTON UNITED – 0 MORCAMBE – 1  [Norman 66] Story of our season really. A poor, narrow defeat in a game where we could easily have taken something and all our relegation rivals winning. We’re really knackered now. 5 games left and we really need 5 wins. Fat chance! We’d got […]

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The Aftermath

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE Att: 460 SUTTON UNITED – 1   [Hutchinson 70] SCARBOROUGH – 2   [Rennison 22, Brodie 39] Match Reporter: Chalmers Not many people were stupid enough to turn up for the aftermath of the Kingston debacle. (See, I wasn’t so bloody stupid after all! – Taz). The lowest crowd this season in the […]

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Forest ‘Green’ After This One

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE Att: 604 SUTTON UNITED – 3  [Hutchinson 38, Watson 36,81] FOREST GREEN ROVERS – 2   [Bennett 27, Hunt 75] They had to go and win it didn’t they? Bastards. Just as we’d resigned ourselves to Ryman league footy next season after the shite dished up at Telford, the U’s came back to […]

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Down & Out At The Bucks Head

NATIONWIDE CONFERENCE Att: 1011 TELFORD UNITED – 2   [Martindale 34p, 69] SUTTON UNITED – 0 Well, where do you start? At the beginning I s’pose. Sutton United all but surrendered their Nationwide Conference status at Telford’s Bucks Head ground on Saturday, turning in quite possibly one of the most toothless performances I can remember […]

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