Thursday, 23 March 2017

The No Smoking Loza

So we're back at the Gallagher once again. Last time round it was a midweek contest that had second place Maidstone try and ultimately fail in stopping our charge towards the Conference South title. This time round it's a little different. 18th vs 19th. Still, at least we both ended up going up at the expense of Gravesend Ebbsfleet,

Sunday, 19 March 2017

7 Balls & a Beaver

How's your luck, eh? Not for the first time this season (and probably not the last), our performance away from home doesn't reflect in the result. And in a results-driven business these days, that's all that matters. So with eleven games to go, Sutton were still a little short of the safety mark. Would a trip to Hampshire change all that? Well read on...

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

Woodbines & Offal

It would be fair to say that my old man never really understood vegetarianism. He was an advocate of the old-school principle that everything from an animal’s arsehole to its snout was all fit for the pot. There used to be a stall in the long-lost , and long-lamented,  Sutton Indoor Market where you could get offal of every description. Trays of assorted guts would be lined up wobbling and shimmering under the strip lights.

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Making Hard York of Things

So here we are. FA Cup Quarter Final day! 90 minutes from the Semi-Finals and a game at Wembley. Unfortunately, it's got absolutely bugger all to do with us given Mr Wenger's lot unfairly nudged us out by scoring more goals than us a couple of weeks back. And since then, we've instead been slogging it out on the road with trips to each end of the country to the likes of Torquay & Barrow.

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

I Left my Guts to Barrow

Do you know that I was beginning to believe that Sutton's consecutive run in the GM Vauxhall National Conference without a clean sheet was going to go the distance. It seemed that I'd be telling my mini-dukes of the great heroics of when Sutton beat Gateshead 9-0 back in September 1990. And how it was the last time we'd stopped the oppo from scoring away from home.

Thursday, 2 March 2017

Isn’t it good, no its BOREham Wood!

The title for this blog is inspired by The Beatles’ “Norwegian Wood” for those who are of musical intellect like me!  So let’s begin by getting the past events out of the way.  It was only a week ago that we had hosted Arsenal, yes that’s Arsenal Football Club in the Fifth Round of the FA Cup.

Sunday, 26 February 2017

Double Tourque

Well thank fuck the media circus has finally fucked off and left town. Now it's time to get back to some sort of perceived normality. Especially considering that we seem to have slipped down the table somewhat a little bit of late. And what better way than to celebrate our return to boring old league action, but with a wealth of typically Gandermonium-mentality dick jokes!

Thursday, 23 February 2017

The Wengerbus Is Coming!

After the glamour and non-stop length of the M1 excitement that was Guiseley away we thought we'd put our feet up this weekend, have a quiet one and play someone a bit more low key than a little town a few miles north of Leeds. Y'know. Someone like, I dunno, Premier League Arsenal?

Friday, 17 February 2017

Indecent Proposal?

This is something a little unusual for us. An attempt at being serious. It's not a practice we're particularly big on if we're honest. However, sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and be adult for a change I suppose. So here goes...

Thursday, 16 February 2017

Emmerdale Farm

It's half seven on a Sunday morning, and one of my phones goes off. Before I know it, the low tones of the Red Army Choir are filling the room. "Why did I set my alarm?" I begin to think to myself as I shuffle off to point Percy at the porcelain. Suddenly a top secret WhatsApp message comes through from Southampton Steve. "Running late, pick you up at 0845hrs".