Sunday, 18 August 2019

You Can't Beat a Bit of Bully

The magical mystery Sutton bus continues it's unbeaten journey one match at a time. What was once thought as a very tricky week in the world of the U's, has now been proven to be just run of the mill type stuff. And for the second time this week, it's Gandermonium's very own foreign correspondent to give you some of the details of what happened on a warm Saturday afternoon. That's me by the way.

Wednesday, 14 August 2019

Trams, Trains & Automoblies

Well, that was something you don't expect to see. Four games into the season as we're somehow still undefeated. Upon reflection, the trip to the almost South Coast would definitely be seen as a point gained instead of two points dropped, especially as it was our first one here since September fuckin' 2007. But we're getting ahead of ourselves a bit here, so lets slow down and start somewhere near the beginning.

Sunday, 11 August 2019

Chorley Cake

I think it's fair to say that all things 'retro' are 'in' currently. All I see every day is kids wandering around dressed like they're extras from 'Fame' or just come from a Bros gig. You also only need pop in here when Totts has done a shift to find loads of middle aged sorts lapping up his 70's punk nostalgia like it's free Watneys Red Barrel on tap. Well, it seems the National League are taking tentative steps towards getting on board with all things retro as well and have allowed Chorley back into the top echelon of the Non-League game.

Thursday, 8 August 2019

Vodka Milkshake

Elder readers among you will recall that Saturday mornings used to see a TV programme hosted by Jimmy Greaves and Ian St John called, surprisingly, 'Saint and Greavsie'. As you probably know, there was a phrase commonly used which was “it’s a funny old game” and also the phrase “it’s a game of two halves” which was pertinent to the Barnet fixture and Sutton’s first home game of the 2019/2020 season, more on that later.

Sunday, 4 August 2019

Winnin' the Pools

So, the first match of the 2019/20 league season has finally arrived. And in the same manner as last time out, we're jogging back up North once again. Hartlepool is the destination this time, and Victoria Park is the place to be. It might not be the longest trip we're going to make this season, but it's the furthest North that we're going to have to travel for this league campaign.

Monday, 29 July 2019

Double Header & Done

Aah, the old Pre Season Friendlies. The footballing equivalent of non-consequential foreplay where you get a bit hot and sweaty, go through the motions but never reach any sort of satisfactory climax.  Still, they are part of the calendar and it has fallen to me to slam them into the bin on behalf of the Gandermonium cartel before the real thing gets under way at the weekend.

Thursday, 25 July 2019

Fair Trade Friendly

So, moving swiftly on from Saturday's nonsense and our third straight away PSF, we're finally back into the (very!) warm embrace of Gander Green Lane for the first time this summer and we're welcoming old friends Dulwich along for the occasion. In stark contrast to last weeks oppo Havant, who as Dukey revealed we've faced some 13 times alone since we resurrected this shite in 2013, the pink and blue hued mob from SE22 have yet to be graced with anything other than a cursory mention on here, as well as the occasional cheap jibe at their trendy, right on crowd via social media.

Sunday, 21 July 2019

Battle of the Ex's

Well I can't say that I'm a fan of sober football. That's three pints or less before you ask. But sober football is really depressing, Especially when you factor in a 2-0 defeat at the hands of a team a  whole division below us. But at least we can still say that it's only pre-season and the real stuff hasn't quite started yet.

Thursday, 18 July 2019

Garden of England

The times, they are a changing my friends. I mean, take the last few months for example, where there's been enough carry on to completely confuse and befuddle even the most clear minded of grown adults. First we lose our manager of 11 years, followed by most of our squad. Then the government try to bring in that 'porn pass' thing and then just as we think we might actually understand it all, they delay it at the last minute! Plus to top things off. England have become World Champions at Cricket. Yes, England. World Champions. At fucking cricket of all things. Barmy.

Sunday, 14 July 2019

It's An Epilogue

They say that a week in football is a long time. Well if that's the case, then eleven weeks without any kind of football to watch feels like a bloody lifetime. Because it's been nearly three months since we last saw a Sutton side round off a very drab final third of the season with a disappointing performance right up there with paying $150 for a prostitute in Sydney and failing to get an erection.