Tuesday, 16 April 2019

Who Throws a Shoe?

In Arab culture, showing the sole of your shoe has long been seen as an insulting gesture. So hitting someone with a shoe is naturally seen as even worse an insult. Arabs consider the sole of the shoe unclean because it is in contact the ground and associated with the foot, the lowest part of your body. So clumping someone with your trainer shows that the recipient is considered to be even lower than that. Which is why when Saddam Hussein’s statue was toppled in the centre of Baghdad in 2003, the locals piled in, footwear in hand.

Monday, 8 April 2019

Rumble Our Blanks

Oh Sutton United. You most definitely know how to put the cat amongst the pigeons don't ya? Just when we you think that the team have already sacked off the rest of the season, up pops up Craig Eastmond with a 95th minute headed winner at the back post to once again give ignite false dreams of the ye olde fabled lands of the top 7.

Monday, 1 April 2019

A Lil' Chip Slip

There's only six games of what is turning into a bastard slog of a season to go and the play-offs might be only four points away but they could be twenty points for all it matters. The way the results have been coming in recently, we'd be going down if we hadn't already acquired enough points. Ever want to depress yourself, then just have a butchers at our current form. Very uninspiring.

Sunday, 24 March 2019

Chezzy Balls

What’s the best invention ever?

It’s subjective isn’t it? Some would go with the wheel, others lager and many wouldn’t give a shit as long as it doesn’t involve a Brexit panel discussion involving the usual parade of know-nothing politicians and fuckwit commentators grifting a living out of something they understand less than my cat. You will get my point and if you think this missive has started off a trifle larey you wait till I get onto BT Sport and East Midlands Trains. I don’t want to loose off all my bile in one heave.

Tuesday, 19 March 2019

Ctrl, Alt & Delete

Hello readers, welcome to another blog in the history of Gandermonium, and let us hope that this one reads more positively to recent events.  Mostly those being the form of the team which has been poor to put it politely. If you did not already know by now but on Tuesday saw the embarrassment of losing 3-0 at home to bottom of the league Braintree who are surely destined for the National League South.

Wednesday, 13 March 2019

Lucky to Get Nil

So, what's everyone got planned for the summer then? Going anywhere nice on your holidays? Maybe a bit of sun and sea, or are you a traditional staycationer sort? Me and the missus are thinking about Malta this year actually. What? I'm just asking! I'm really genuinely interested in our readers well being and what they're up to. Oh I see, you're one of those cynical types that is sat there thinking this is just some load of old flannel to avoid talking about a season that is going downhill quicker than Boeing's share price. Well, in that case you'd be absolutely bang on.

Monday, 11 March 2019

Whip It Like Devo

So the Sutton Mega bus carries on falling down the mountain. Wins these days are getting to become a bit of a rarity, certainly so far in 2019. Looking in the books and you can see that we now have a very miserable record of only two wins in thirteen attempts. But we're still a little way off from our rather limp start to the 2012/13 season. So that's a positive to take from Saturday I reckon.

Thursday, 7 March 2019

Birthday Bashed

As luck would have it, our beloved Sutton United FC was born on this day back in 1898, so what better way to celebrate a 121st year of shit Non-League football than to pop 230-odd miles up the road to the outskirts of Manchester for a few beers and a game? Well, we were born in a pub after all, so the beers are at least topical. However we feel the original boys who set this thing up in the room above the Robin Hood would probably never have heard of a place called Salford, let alone travelled there. And to them, the 'Class of 92' simply meant their last year at the local grammar school.

Monday, 4 March 2019

If I Had a Hammer

Greetings readers and welcome to another Robbo blog for the league fixture versus Hartlepool United.  Let me recap the week’s events where yours truly had to visit the wonderful town of Dover for work purposes rather than National League ones. I think it is fair I should state at this point that there are only two good things about Dover: 1. The views you get of the English Channel on the train journey in; and 2. Leaving Dover.

Monday, 25 February 2019

Britney Spears Doppelganger

Greetings pop pickers and discerning Non-League blog readers. My you're looking well. Have you been away, got a bit of sun? Maybe it's a new haircut? No? Oh well, never mind, either way you're looking fabulous today. Us? Well thanks for asking. Ok, so we've got the sort of injury list that would make Florence Nightingale think "Fuck this!" and go get a job stacking shelves in Tescos and we're finding goals as hard to come by as a Faberge Egg at a boot sale, but other than that, musn't grumble.