Sunday, 17 November 2019

Dirty Barry's Dirty Weekend

Back in the seventies – will you stop fucking groaning at the back – back in the seventies the Dirty Weekend was a staple of British comedy and as much a part of popular culture as Glam Rock, Spangles and a clip round the earhole from you friendly neighbourhood copper.

Wednesday, 13 November 2019

A Boost of Confidence

Sorry folks, it's only me again at the reins of yet another Sutton United tale from the boys at Gandermonium. But to make things even worse (for you), it's that time of the year where a certain cup competition begins, one that has become the bane of the short-minded and the obsessive love of the lifers. Yeah you know what it is, it's time for the Surrey Senior Cup. Get in there!

Sunday, 3 November 2019

They Call Me Wendy at Weekends

It's not happening at the moment is it for the poor boys of lil' old Sutton United. We can't buy a win for love or money currently. The worst thing is that we're not playing that badly really, but we just can't seem to put the ball into the back of the net. Gravesend & Northfleet Ebbsfleet was just down to individual errors, Halfax was just not the rub of the green and what about Barrow? Well read on squire, read on...

Wednesday, 30 October 2019

Unprescribed Scribe

Over the weekend, I took my mind off all things related to the nether reaches of the National League table by delving into the old movie library here at HQ and re-visiting an old classic with a watch of Kevin Smith's cult movie 'Clerks'. This provided a bit of amusement to help lighten the soul in these dark, troubled and largely winless times, educated the missus who hadn't previously seen it (no, really) and also unexpectedly provided me with the lead in to this latest episode of Gandermonium, as like Dante Hicks famously states in said motion picture, I'm not even supposed to be here today.

Sunday, 27 October 2019

Vomit in the Trough

When you're on a run that's as success challenged as we are currently, you simply need to find some positives from somewhere, anywhere. A win against, for example, the one side who might actually consider you their bogey team, or perhaps a cup tie against a bang average team from a division lower than you that you can rough up and knock in some goals against. Oh wait, we tried that last one, didn't turn out so well. So, bogey team it is I guess.

Wednesday, 23 October 2019

Stats Don't Lie

Bloody Football Association Challenge Cup shit. It can be a right curse as well as a saviour to many a teams fortunes. For Sutton on Saturday, it was a performance that never quite matched the result and will no doubt forever be remembered as the match that "had that keeper score in injury-time". Yeah, you fuck right off! At least they didn't mention that it was by an ex-player who doesn't have the best relationship with his former club.

Sunday, 20 October 2019

Another Viral Youtube Hit

When things aren't going quite the way you'd hope on the pitch, it seems to serve as a magnet for all sorts of other misfortune and daft incidents to rear their ugly heads and plague you, the poor unsuspecting punter's already fragile mental state. And we at Gander Green Lane are no different. Take last week's train debacle for example, which essentially meant we went on holiday by mistake. Still, surely that's enough ridiculousness for one season? Right? RIGHT? Oh who am I kidding...

Monday, 14 October 2019

Euston, we have a Problem

So, Euston train station, we did have a problem didn't we. A rather big problem when you think about it. As blog titles go, it's a bit obvious, but otherwise it might have been something random like "It's a Skip!". But more on that one later. It was Sod's Law that it was another North West trip that was cut short early. And like the previous episode, we instead ended right up on the piss and watching another two teams battle it out in a division we care little for and know even less about. But, as the Gandermonium rules state: "No match, no blog", so shall we kick this one off then?

Thursday, 10 October 2019

Kipper Tie

My oh my, what about this weather we're having eh? Winter's definitely here you know, even I've almost followed Totts lead and switched on the old central heating. Eh? What's that? You think I'm just making small talk to avoid mentioning the current footballing situation in the People's Republic? Well check out the brains on the audience there. Well done you. Yes, I am indeed. And with good fucking reason.

Sunday, 6 October 2019

Do Anything You Wanna Do

Now that autumn is rolling in, the leaves are falling from the trees and me and Mrs Totts are engaged in our annual “Battle of the Boiler” as to when it’s appropriate to turn the heating on it seems only right that we should be entertaining a solid, meat, spuds, sticky pudding and woolly jumpers side like Stockport.