Thursday, 18 July 2019

Garden of England

The times, they are a changing my friends. I mean, take the last few months for example, where there's been enough carry on to completely confuse and befuddle even the most clear minded of grown adults. First we lose our manager of 11 years, followed by most of our squad. Then the government try to bring in that 'porn pass' thing and then just as we think we might actually understand it all, they delay it at the last minute! Plus to top things off. England have become World Champions at Cricket. Yes, England. World Champions. At fucking cricket of all things. Barmy.

Sunday, 14 July 2019

It's An Epilogue

They say that a week in football is a long time. Well if that's the case, then eleven weeks without any kind of football to watch feels like a bloody lifetime. Because it's been nearly three months since we last saw a Sutton side round off a very drab final third of the season with a disappointing performance right up there with paying $150 for a prostitute in Sydney and failing to get an erection.

Friday, 14 June 2019

Robin Friday - The Greatest Footballer You Never Saw

Many footballing superstars have graced the pitch at Sutton United down the years – far too many to mention here – but there’s one player who stepped out of the GGL tunnel as a kid back in May 1972 who really should have gone on to become a household name. A lad by the name of Robin Friday.

Wednesday, 29 May 2019

¿Dónde está Debbie de Bolton? - Football Abroad

So our lil' jaunt on the Spanish Main continues to roll on. The moving of our planned match of Chairman Totts much beloved Hercules from Sunday to Saturday at such a short notice had scuppered our original plan. But from somewhere, the footballing ground-hopping gods have given us a lifeline as a match is found at short notice for the Sunday.

Sunday, 26 May 2019

Cuidado con ese árbol! - Football Abroad

A tough, grinding season's finally over, the manager has fucked off and so far so has about half of last year's squad. So you'd think now would be a good time to go and rediscover real life, start clocking up the brownie points with the other halves and generally forget all about the beautiful game for a few weeks. Especially as there's no World Cup on (FIFA or CONIFA!) to keep you otherwise amused? Wrong. You go find yet more football, obviously. Preferably somewhere with nicer weather and cheaper beer. And the more obscure the better.

2018/2019 Season Review - Part 3

Yes. We've finally made it. The third and final episode of our Season Review for 2018/19. So far in Part 1 and Part 2 you've heard how we started well, played in Europe, lost 2 penalty shoot outs, had lots of injuries, got knocked out of the FA Trophy, got put back in the FA Trophy and then got knocked out of the FA Trophy again before reaching the magic 52 points mark. So pretty low key stuff really. Still, at least it all sets up a properly exciting conclusion to the season eh? Uh, yeah, about that....

Friday, 10 May 2019

2018/2019 Season Review - Part 2

Welcome to Part Two of our annual Season Review! We're guessing the first bit was alright if you've come back for another helping. Still, s'pose you need something else to follow devotedly now that Game of Thrones thing is pretty much done and dusted eh? So, in Part One we made a decent start, got more than half our required survival total on the board, played in Europe, exited Europe, majorly upset part of East London and scraped into the First Round of the FA Cup. So pretty quiet really all told.

Well, what are you waiting for? Part Two's thataway. Over there. No, not there, there. To your left. No, your other left. Oh for god's sake...

Monday, 6 May 2019

2018/2019 Season Review - Part 1

Following last year's latest record breaking campaign and somewhat comfortably negotiating that 'tough second season' thing you always read about, we had to wonder what was coming next in 2018/19. Would we be even better? Would we suddenly find ourselves, absurdly, a Football League club come May? Or would it all be a proper fucking disaster and end with ignominious failure and a return to the National South? Ha! Like we're going to tell you that in the first para of a three part season review. Suckers!

Monday, 29 April 2019

Where's the Pie?

So that's it once again for another season of football for our dear old Sutton United. This has been another one of those campaigns where we've had some great highs and yet again, some shit lows that come with our adventures. And of course, it ends on a limp whimper. But now it's time to say goodbye and fuck off to 2018/19 with one more blog.

Tuesday, 23 April 2019

Snide Walnut Whip

Can we be honest with each other? We’ve knocked around together for a while and you should have got the measure of me by now and if you haven’t, I can’t really help you. Because here’s the thing – playing a team that is already relegated when you have nothing much to pitch for yourselves is basically the footballing equivalent of necrophilia.