Sunday, 10 February 2019

Lifestyle Choice

As you know I like to start off these exercises in football avoidance that masquerade as a “match day blog” with a little bit of personal history that I like to think gives you, the reader, a bit of a window into my world and give a feel for the life experiences that have been roughly stitched together to make me the man that I am today. Others may describe it as “blatant fucking filler”. I say suit yerselves.

Tuesday, 29 January 2019

Knife and Fork Affair

The internet. It's both all that is good and of course bad in this world of ours. As wonderfully useful as it is deeply troubling. And we here at the Monium of Gander are no strangers to both of these sides of the same world wide webby coin. Apart from of course bringing you this utter delight every week, it's helped us setup many interesting trips and meet lots of nice people. We'd never have met all the nice folks at Forres for instance without the interwebs. But for every friendship made and pub recommendation, there's always an Orient wanker getting you blocked on Facebook and losing you 60% of an audience you worked 3 years to build. Good and bad see?

Sunday, 27 January 2019

Banstead Mental Hospital FC

Delving into the past on a subject that has had very little coverage on-line or in print really is a shot in the dark but starting off from a few core reference points and then plunging in and seeing where the journey takes you can be hugely satisfying. And this trip through the brief senior footballing life of Banstead Mental Hospital FC ticks that box big style.

Tuesday, 22 January 2019

A Pugnacious Affair

Another match has come to pass and in the blink of a sleep-crusted eye, it's another defeat that we have to take back with us back to Sutton. So we still might not be 'back' just yet, but it was at least a better display then we've seen these recent weeks. Or that's what I'm supposed to say at least. Sending positive vibes and all that...

Tuesday, 15 January 2019

A Needless Reprieve

So was that worth it in the end do you reckon? Still, at least at this moment I suppose we could say that this year we're the worst team to take part in the FA Amateur Cup Trophy. Because only Sutton can lose two games in the competition in a row. But as you know, away days are not just about the football, luckily for some. So there might just be a reason to carry on reading. Just skip the football part if you want...most of you usually do anyway.

Wednesday, 9 January 2019

A Dead Cert

Well that was probably to be expected really wasn't it? I held onto my optimism as long as I could. But the moment it evaporated was probably just as Mr X read out the team line-up as we walked from the car to the ground. Here was where I'd realise that my dreams were to once again be shattered. But someone needs to tell the story regardless, so here we go...

Tuesday, 8 January 2019

Harry Brews Up A Winner

Let me get the sentimental matters out of the way early doors by wishing our loyal readers a very Happy New Year and may 2019 be a good one for you all; well apart from any of our rival teams that is!  And also an additional point is to wish my old chum Natalie a Happy Birthday. Many happy returns!

Thursday, 3 January 2019

New Year, Same Old Sutton

Bugger the Happy New Year and all that bloody bollocks. I'm a Sutton United supporter don't you know! And I might be getting old (very slowly), but nothing seems new to me from the 24 hours before. Then again, only twenty four hours ago I was drinking in an Irish bar in Morden. And I didn't even get into any sort of trouble! But some things definitely don't change and in this case that is our beloved football team.

Monday, 31 December 2018

On Quality Street

So here it is, Merry Christmas and everybody's having fun! Well, unless you've had a gut full of enough grub to feed a small African village for a month topped off with the sort of quantity of gin required to euthanize an Elephant. Then you might have passed from the 'having fun' phase and be more into the 'wishing for a swift and painless death' stage of the holiday celebrations. I know I have.

Thursday, 27 December 2018

Jolly Festive Uncle

Picture the scene.  The poor house is cold.  It stinks of damp, Dettol and overcooked sprouts.  At a rickety old table huddle a group of pale looking urchins. They are proper fucked to be honest, having spunked every last penny and more on awayday trips to the likes of Scotland, Dublin and an endless stream of Northern shit holes that no one would visit in their right mind unless they were making some sort of post-Brexit documentary on Broken Britain.