Red Card Roy

Right, let me tell you about me, Roy McDonough and Sutton United. Stick with this as you wouldn’t have got this review, or Totts addition to the Gandermonium roster of star writers, if it hadn’t been for being forced to haul the memory back fifteen years to try and back up an anecdote I was […]

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Mystic Nurse

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 603 SUTTON UNITED – 5      [J.Nurse 38.49.53. Hanlan 56. Boosey 75] HEYBRIDGE SWIFTS – 1    [Griffiths 66] Now, Heybridge ain’t our favourite bunch. We’ve had some some frustrating encounters over the last few years and their mainly agricultural approach to the beautiful game has won them few admirers […]

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A Swift Response

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 208 HEYBRIDGE SWIFTS – 1   [Culverhouse 44] SUTTON UNITED – 3   [Bolt 45. Fowler 65. Bailey 89] The U’s headed out to the wilds of Essex last night for the first instalment of this double header against those purveyors of quality football and sportsmanship, Heybridge Swifts. And won. Again. […]

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Taxi To Maldon

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 207 HEYBRIDGE SWIFTS – 2  [Budge 31. Windows 33] SUTTON UNITED – 0 Now the last thing you want when you’re living out the final stages of mid-table mediocrity in a largely disappointing season and haven’t scored for 4.5 games is a trip to deepest Essex and Heybridge bloody Swifts. In […]

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The Traffic Bollard

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 494 SUTTON UNITED – 4  [Arkwright 42. Boothe p55. OG 79. Murray 89] HEYBRIDGE SWIFTS – 1  [Parker 49] Oh yes, Colin Wall. What a player. What a muppet… Come on, are Sutton fans the only supporters in the Ryman to have spotted Mr Wall’s ‘talent’?? If you have, you’ll know […]

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Never Trust An Essex Cabbie

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION Att: 310 HEYBRIDGE SWIFTS – 2  [Lee 25. Warwick 84] SUTTON UNITED – 2  [Bolt 40. Haworth 89] Bloody hell. What a day. Many more like this and I’m going to have to check into the ‘Priory’ (No, not Zoe Ball’s C4 proggie) for stress treatment, like what that nice Mr Collymore […]

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