After reading the Editor in Chief’s write up on the Bath away game and after having to refer to the Dictionary and Thesaurus to look up the meaning of some of the flashy words that he used throughout his epic in length update, I thought to myself “How on this Earth am I supposed to compete with that quality, piece, of ‘off the cuff’ work, all from his memmory?” Cor, well it tells me something clearly that at the crisp age of 29 I’ve got signs of mental fatigue, or early onset Alzheimer’s! Most people would probably agree with mental fatigue, if there is such a thing…
And yes, as stated, we did badger the Editor in Chief to bring this back. We hounded him day at night in fact, not only did we annoy the hell out of him at the games, but we texted him, emailed him, called him, and we even sent carrier pigeons too! And well, when he didn’t answer, we thought “Sod it let’s camp up outside his gaff!” So after returning home from work one evening myself and Duke received an incoming mail from the Editor in Chief, the leader of the original Gandermonium that ran for ten years, yes that’s right you read that correctly, ten whole long years, along the lines of “well you two wanted it…so now it’s yours…enjoy! PS. Don’t and I repeat, don’t fuck it up!”
|WELCOME TO HELL!!|
Anyways, so yeah it’s back, but this time Taz oversees what we do sort of like a grown up with some kindergarten kids and he could tell we were running out of steam recently (given all the hard work, sweat, blood and tears, and more recently poor pictures in the updates) and being the “nice” chap that he is gave us a day off. Thanks Ed.
Drum roll please….ahem…cough…ahem I SAID….drum roll please…
So yes I’m back, Juan is back, back again for one night only to give you ‘The Final’, the things dreams are made from. Well Duke’s anyways (the ones that don’t involve porn at least). It’s the Surrey Senior Cup Final. What a way to bring the season to a fine polished finish than playing for a little bit of Silverware eh? A pot for Bruce to lock away behind the security glass of the GGL Trophy cabinet, mostly so it’s out of reach from Dukey prowling the ground at night, looking for a way in so he can get his hands on said pot and hold it hostage in Portugal for 10 days to drink his cider out of. Well, that’s of course if we win tonight.
|Cup finals at your own ground are shit.|
So it’s a 26th Surrey Senior Cup final for us, will this old bit of Silverware once more find it’s way into our trophy cabinet and stop Dukey forever going on about that fucking record? Keep on reading to find out.
Now then, we all now that Dulwich Hamlet have won this trophy 16 times, and are currently the record holders. (we only know this, ’cause Duke keeps reminding everyone every fucking year). Tonight gives us the opportunity to go level with the Hamlet at the top of the pile. Again, we have been runners up in this competition on 12 occasions. So it’s about time we broke Hamlets record to be honest and start creating our own little bit of history. Especially since they’ve not entered the poxy thing since about 1971.
As most of you know, Duke is a HUGE fan of the Surrey Senior Cup (have we mentioned that before? Fairly sure we have?) and well we kind of thought it only fair to give him the night off reporting duties for this one so he could sit back, enjoy the moment and take in the thrills and spills of cup fever. That and given the fact win or lose, he’d be more than likely be too intoxicated to remember the details of this Wednesdays fixture anyway. So instead I answered Duke’s prayers and I will bring you the fame, the fortune and the thrills of tonight’s encounter.
So armed with Biro and pad in hand (I learnt this trick from some other fella, not sure who mind!) I’ll try to get my brain and hand to work together as a team to bring you as much detail as I can. So without further adieu lets get down to business.
So tonight’s line up, we have :- Lovelock, Stuart, Rents, Wheeler, Downer, Folkes, Riviere, Fuseini, Dundas, Beautyman, Williams. Bench:- Benjamin, Sinclair, Serbonij, Murrell-Williamson, Telfer.
|Basically, the happiest he was all night.
Yeah, he’s pissed & it’s pre-match….
So tonight we are playing as the ‘away’ team in white despite the fact the game is at our own fucking ground (Cheers Surrey FA, talk about ramp up the excitement) and we get underway in the typical starting direction towards the Rec. The first signs of an early attack go to Godalming down the right channel, but the through ball is ruled off side, a sigh of relief, as we haven’t started off too brightly this evening.
As we start to get things to together and begin to increase the tempo a tad, a free kick is awarded our way just inside the Godalming half, Rents played in short, a short dink across to Fuseini, who tussles with the Goldalming centre back, and the Sutton attack is diffused and cleared away. We seem to be lacking in the keeping hold of the ball department tonight, mind you Godalming not making it easy for us by pressing us quickly and not giving us and breathing space to create space.
The next wave of attack comes from a Godalming free kick lined up just on the edge of Lovelock’s fortress, with a two man Sutton wall, the ball is looped round to the right, and with a free Godalming head coming through the mass of yellow and white shirts, the free header is denied safely by the sticky gloves of Lovers.
Sutton begin to create some shape, and begin to look a little less flat, and start to put together a few one two passes in the middle of the park, one of them sending Marv through down the right flank and coming in, Marv checks and sees the Godalming keeper coming of his line, and watches the ball coming over his right shoulder, and waits for the ball to drop , and goes for the chip over the keeper. But with the Godalming keeper getting his positioning right, it’s easily collected into his gloves at head height.
The U’s again pressing down the right channel and with Faux being a little bit of a hand full at times is bought down, so up steps the Rents to Deliver in one of his trademark free kicks. but not on this occasions as the ball swings straight out. These are basics. A dead ball set piece situation, how can we get this so wrong? Schoolboy.
|Action action action! Well, kind of….|
Applying more tension to the vice, Sutton create a further chance, by again rolling Marvs down the left. a hustle and tussle between Marv and 2 defenders creating a Marv sandwich. He struggles through and taps the ball away on his left and goes steaming towards the by-line to cross the ball in on his weaker left foot, which lacks power and pace as well as not finding a white shirt.
A little bit of stalemate at this stage, as both teams continue to block out one another’s efforts.
Still a short throw from Rents finds the feet of Beauts. Beauts looks up, checks the run started by Marv and plays him again down the left flank. Marv takes his man on, ‘you’re in’ and beats him with ease, cuts back inside, looks up and sees Fuseni unmarked inside the box, but the hook back into the box fails to find Fuseni.
A further chance created by Sutton, but the lack of shot or end product, takes me to the direction of my right pocket for a cheeky smoke and a quick sip of the full fat Coke. With Sutton now beginning to want something from this game (I guess Duke didn’t step into the dressing room before kick off to give the lads the ‘how important this is’ speech?) Beauts collects the ball down the left from Rents. But he gets squeezed tight down the left channel, with the Godalming right back tracking him well, a little bit of a tussle between the two of them Beauts is able to step away and forces a cross into the box, only for Fuseni’s shot to go over the top of the bar.
On its way the ball is clearly tipped over the bar and we even heard the touch of the keepers gloves. But we were of course denied our set piece from the corner flag. A cry of ‘JUSTICE’ is heard echoing around the Collingwood Road end……must be that fella that re-creates Madness solo efforts on football terraces.
The 2nd 45 sees Godalming get us underway.
First build up play comes from Sutton with Rents going down the left channel, but is just not strong enough, as Rents is easily hustled off the ball, leaving them with an opening down the channel. But with Fuseni approaching to tidy up, Godalming are denied the opportunity to press. With Fuseni swinging the ball across the other side of the park, finding Faux out on the right wing. Faux brings the ball down to his feet and takes his man on down the right, taking the ball all the way to the corner flag, and sticks the ball over with a looping cross into the box, missing every Sutton rising head. Beauts chasing down the loose cross on the deck and is bought down by the Godalming 8 on the edge of the box. Up against a two man wall, Rents steps up and wraps his left foot around the ball and bends the ball around the wall, but it’s easily collected into the hands of the keeper.
|Approx 44 minutes away from fucking it up again…..|
With Godalming still applying the pressure and showing no signs of tiring, a cross comes in from the left winger, a free header goes back across Lovelocks 6 yard box, but is volleyed over the bar. I must say U’s aren’t looking the well oiled machine tonight compared to a few weeks back when we on that 9 game winning run in the league. I guess this is what happens when you give the body just over a week off from training & playing. You just can’t switch it back on. At times putting ourselves under additional pressure by trying to play the one touch passing game, instead of picking out the easier pass, or option. With the legs of Faux tiring, he is taken off and replaced by Murrell-Williamson.
Dundo again looking a tad lack lustre and his normal mechanical self, again fails to hold the ball up and keep hold of the damn thing in the box, again hustled off the ball. Once more Fuseni comes to the rescue in the middle of the park and again plays the ball out to the right, finding Williamson. Williamson begins his run down the right, but is again bought down. With Sutton awarded a free kick out on the right, it’s quickly taken by Stuart, who plays in Elliot down the right, swinging the ball back into the box, for a few seconds Godalmings concentration drops and the clearance is faffed up. Marv eyeing the ball up, brings it down to his feet and fires a shot only for it to be deflected out.
Elliot Wheeler is replaced by Benjamin, dropping Rivs into the right back position. So maybe with a little more firepower up front we may see the ball ripple into the back of the onion bag. Within a few minutes Fuseni is also replaced, Sinclair comes on to fill the void.
More pressure from Sutton, sees a steaming run from Marv, heading down the middle of the park, but turning left in direction he holds the ball at his feet, as the approaching Godalming right back is trying to hustle him off the ball. Under pressure, Marv puts the burners on, and goes past his man, and looks up for his available options. Marv having two options, go for the strike, a goal scoring chance, or go bust and switch the ball across the box, I guess you could describe it as a ‘Shit or Bust’ situation, and well they were both as good as one another as the ball is switched back into the box, but yet again is cleared away.
At this stage of the game you would be expecting Godalmings work rate to drop, and for them to tire, but that was not the case, they just kept going and pushing hard, and hustled us since the off so credit to them for that!
|Closest we’ve got to silverware this season…..|
With the time on the clock running down, it was time to see one of those Dundo surges from the middle of the park, instead we see Dundo taken out on the edge of the box. With the five man wall built, and pushed back the full ten yards, Beauts eyes this opportunity up, and sets the ball down, takes his trademark 5 paces back, and takes a gasp, eyes up the keeper on his line, and steps forward and strikes the ball with a sweet curling effort that bends at a low angle around the defensive wall. The Godalming keeper goes down to his right at full stretch only for the ball to be out of his reach, and for one split second it looks as though its heading into the bottom left, only to be denied by a whisper of the woodwork.
Heading into the final few minutes, Godalming pressing the ball, collect a loose ball over on the right channel, and cross the ball into Lovelocks area. Lovelock makes the decision to come off his line to clear the ball. A lack of communication between him and Stuart sees Lovelocks clearance fluffed, to leave a open net for Godalming to take full advantage of and lob one in with barely a minute to go. Well there we are.
Sutton 0-Godalming 1
Sorry about that Dukey lad, there’s always next year fella…..I’m sure of that! Sadly I couldn’t stick around with the boys for a post match pint or two, as duty called to get this thing typed up and well to be fair I didn’t have enough tissues with me to help mop Dukey’s tears…..
In other news
I see the officially revealing of the new signings was released to the common folk and fans, prior to tonight’s kick off, so if I get a chance at some stage, I’ll put together a little update, a bit of a player bio perhaps, and well see where that takes us!
In further news
I think we could all do with a little ‘cheering up’ after that performance in the SSC, so here we go. This is an example of what happens on the ‘Booze Cruises’ well here’s a little taster, something to lighten the mood a little, something to ease the pain. After all, we are renowned for breaking toilet seats, and getting up to nawtyness, so here we are, get your laughing gear ’round this!
No Bog Brushes were harmed in the making of this video.
That’s all from the one they call Juan….for now!