Anne Frank’s Diary


Att: 279

WOKING – 3   [Sole 13. Morgan 56. Norville 88]

SUTTON UNITED – 1   [Johnson 39]

I’ll be honest with you dear reader, the match reports have been a real pain in the arse this season. What with the dreadful stuff served up on the pitch most weeks, writing these things has become something of a chore. In fact, I’d say Anne Frank probably had more fun writing her famous diary than I have doing this stuff this year.

So, 3 days after our Conference South life was effectively extinguished with the dreadful 2-0 home defeat to a marginally-less-dreadful-than-us Bognor Regis, we’re heading down the A3 into deepest Surrey to see the last breath of life squeezed out of this season with our inevitable exit from the county cup at the hands of Conference National side Woking

And with Matt Gray now residing at Kingfield, he’ll no doubt play and get about 15. Usually the way it goes for us in this cases.

Still, working in Egham means that Woking isn’t all that hard to get to, requiring just a short hop via Weybridge. And a decent boozer has been identified just a couple of minutes from the station. Oh and Woking have knocked the gate prices down a couple of quid as well.

Oh alright then, I’ll go if I must. But I’m not doing a proper report. Just one of those lazy half arsed ones I do for friendlies.

I wander into the pub remarkably early for an away game and find 2 U’s fans already in place. So we sit back, enjoy a couple of pints and remark on how utterly shite we were at the weekend. Before long, several other sufferers wander in, no doubt all taking advantage of the pub intelligence provided.

With a couple of beers and a sausage bap inside me, I decline the offer of a lift to the ground from PC and stroll down instead, simply to try & psyche myself up for what could be another pretty dire 90 minutes.

In the ground, team news is quickly obtained. Ernie has opted to play a 4-5-1 formation tonight, sticking Dundo up front on his own. He’s also elected to try out a bit of pace in attack, starting with both Liam Wright and Jermiele Johnson who’d made an impressive cameo appearance on Saturday. The rest of the side is as expected, with both Bash and Tom Hughes starting. It also sounds like Woking are ringing the changes, with several fringe players getting a run out and a certain Matthew Gray ESQ parking himself on the bench.

Hmmmm, maybe there is a god…..

6 mins – Well hit free-kick from deep on the left just evades the diving Woking attacker at the far post.

9 mins – Wright takes advantage of the home defence’s liking for pissing about with the ball in their own half by robbing the centre back some 25 yards out and hitting a first time effort a couple of feet over the crossbar from a central position.

12 mins – A reasonable start continues with a cross coming from a throw in on the right. It just evades Dundas, but Wright arrives at the far post and holds off his man to turn and hook an effort narrowly across goal and wide of the far post.

14 mins – GOAL 1-0. Big hoof down the middle and our central defenders are nowhere to be seen. Bash chases down and Davies comes well off his line, but the attacker forces the ball past him before heading on the bounce it into the empty net from just inside the box. Arse. Still, at least it wasn’t their first attack. Well, almost.

18 mins – Quick play on the right leaves Sammut floundering and the Woking man gets to the byeline before cutting in. His low ball across is intercepted by Scarborough at the near post and bundled out for a corner.

20 mins – The hosts are starting to knock it about & find gaps now. A cross in from the left is poorly defended and the man following up on the right has a fierce low drive through a crowd narrowly deflected wide of the near post for another corner.

30 mins – Having ridden the storm a little, Liam Wright lifts the gloom with a good run down the left, but having cut in from the flank and left his man for dead, he elects to try & square the ball to Dundas instead of taking a shot, which allows a defender to recover and cut out the pass.

39 mins – GOAL 1-1. From nothing, Honey threads a perfect ball through the Woking defence and JJ spins off his marker to dart in, take the ball in his stride and scamper round the ‘keeper before slotting into the empty net to level the scores. Bloody hell, a goal from open play. For us. And not only that, it’s a good one!

44 mins – The goal lifts the lads and with time almost up, Wright again causes problems down the left. He feeds Alimi who clips a ball to the near post, which is touched on by a defender. Dundas at full stretch pokes just inches wide of the near post.

A cuppa at the break is more than welcome, due to the fact it’s now fucking freezing. Still, we have a reasonable first 45 to look back on for a change. And most importantly, we’re actually not getting gubbed! Although there is still one half of football yet to be negotiated, so that could very well change in the very near future.

To try & sort out their flaky defence, the home side bring on ex-U youth product Tom Hutchinson at the break. Which is a little unfair I think, as the back four currently employed was more to our current level…..

47 mins – Too much time & space for the Woking forwards & midfield. A ball inside, followed by a run across the edge of the box ends with a fierce dipping shot that Davies tips away at full stretch for a corner.

55 mins – Throw on the right finds Dundas and in typical fashion, he bundles his way past 2 men to the byeline before pulling a peach of a ball back into the heart of the box. But sadly there’s no one backing him up and the defence clears the danger.

56 mins – GOAL 2-1. Having really panicked and brought on a first choice forward a couple of minutes before, his impact is pretty much instant. Taking a throw from the left, he turns Sammut a little too easy and finds a gap to put the ball between Davies and his near post.

57 mins – Things get a bit wobbly. JJ is fouled in midfield, but nothing is given and the home side take advantage of our hesitation to break and Davies is again forced to turn away another fierce effort rasped on goal.

58 mins – A let off. Too much space down the left ends in a turn, run and low centre which is turned in several yards out in front of goal, but the linesman’s flag rules the effort out thankfully. This is getting away from us a little now.

67 mins – Hughes gets in the way to deflect a sharp effort from the right out for a corner after a deep cross from the left is smartly laid back into the danger area first time from the byeline. The corner comes in and is flicked on ion front of the far post and is going inside the far upright but for AJ guarding the post on the line and the danger is cleared.

70 mins – A ball through the centre cuts open the defence and it looks like Hughes has hauled his man down. But fortunately the ref plays the advantage as the ball runs to an unmarked attacker about 8 yards out. And he fails to take the chance, blazing just over the bar.

72 mins – It’s all a bit one way now. Scarbs gets sucked in and his man smartly flicks on and turns, running into the space behind, he hits a low shot that comes back off the inside of the near post and the loose ball is pounced on by Davies. We’re not even close to being in this as a contest right now.

77 mins – A break in the pressure as a rare corner is won. Swung in, it’s poorly cleared and Wright’s driven shot through a crowded area is just deflected away for another corner just in front of goal.

83 mins – Honey puts in a free-kick from the left that picks out the run of Sammut at the far post, but he can only guide his free header into the side netting. Which sort of sums up our efforts in general this season.

88 mins – GOAL 3-1. Any hopes of a grandstand finish are extinguished when the troublesome Woking no8 gets free again down the left and looks certain to score, only to see his shot hit a team-mate almost on the line and out for a goal kick. The lino signals it, the players expect it and the ref then ruins a reasonable display by overruling his assistant and giving a fucking corner. Naturally, it’s played in and the stooping header that results finds the far corner of the net. Thanks a bunch ref, you utter twat.

With the final whistle done, it’s an immediate shoot and Windy finds himself on some dark country lanes soon after leaving Kingfield, thanks to Tom Tom. But, just as we’re both about to start seriously questioning the wisdom of the little satellite system, we notice a T-junction ahead…….bloody hell, it’s the A3!

Back in the Hood comfortably before closing, a couple of beers helps pass the time ’til we’re kicked out. Conversation however is understandably minimal, certainly where the subject of football is concerned.

That really is season over now. Just the inevitable to get out of the way….

MoM : Jermiele Johnson. Very lively. Took his goal very well too..

TEAM : Davies, Scarborough, T.Hughes, Sammut, Bray, Alimi, Honey, Johnson, Wright, Dundas, R.Hughes.  SUBS : Ottaway, Ball, Cuff, Greene, Horne

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