Yep, False Dawn!


Att : 502



And so it drags on.  Yet another Saturday, yet another depressing waste of 90 minutes.

Normally, the visit of a side like Yeading would have us more than likely anticipating 3 points. Especially a Yeading side that has been just as bad as we have recently. So bad in fact, they even lost to the Scummers. Twice.

In a week.

Chrst, we might be bad, but at least we’ve not had to face that particular disgrace.

But, sadly at the moment, for the U’s it’s not so much as where the next point is coming from (we’re not that forward thinking right now!) but where on earth the next goal is coming from. Peter Fear’s strike against Havant is the only one we’ve notched ourselves in 6 games. The other entry in the ‘For’ column in that time was supplied by our inept neighbours on Boxing Day.

The chances of that record ending today aren’t aided by the fact we’re missing Cornwall due to suspension and Douglas, who’s sunning himself at a family wedding in the West Indies.

Lucky bastard.

So, fuck only knows who’ll be leading the line today!

And despite discussing it over a couple of pints in the Hood, we’re still no closer to working it out when we leave at 10 to 3. Oh well, have to wait & see I s’pose….

On arrival at the GGL end, our season tickets fail to gain us entry. Apparently we need to head to the main stand entrance to use ’em.


The side is understandably changed from tuesdays somewhat predicatable defeat at Cambridge. Jay Conroy has passed a fitness test and returns to the right, allowing Matty to move up front. The bench is a veritable plethora of youth.

Mainly because we’ve got no other fucker to fill in.

Strikers Zak Graham and Sean Rivers are there, along with Luke Adams, who’d apparently turned in a pretty competent display as a half-time replacement for Elliot on tuesday. The big news though is the return of the mercurial Glenn Boosey. He of the ball-glued-to-his-foot mazy run. Although we doubt even his sometimes brilliant influence will be enough to raise this lot.

It takes a good while for the game to get going, as both sides struggle to string even a couple of passes together in succession.

It’s not until about a quarter of an hour in that anything really noteworthy happens. A pass down the right fids Boosey, he turns back up field before drifting a lovely cross into the visitors box. Gray does well to leap highest and guide a header onto the traget from around the penalty spot, but it lacks power and is an easy catch for the ‘keeper at his far post.

A couple of minutes later and an innocuous looking run almost presents Yeading with their first chance. Their man somehow evading 2 Amber shirts down the right and suddenly finding himself in the box with the target looming. Thankfully, Palmer intervenes with a very well timed challenge and the danger is averted.

On 18 minutes, probably our best chance of the half arrives. Scarborough easily cuts out a forward ball just inside his own half and then travels into Yeadig territory, before swinging a teasing ball in from the right. It just evades the lunge of Gray in the centre and Akuamouah arriving at the far post is at full stretch and his effort zips high and wide of the target.

Despite this veritable flurry of activity, the game is still largely a poor affair. Whilst the pitch isn’t helping matters much, it’s nowhere near as bad as for the Hayes match in eary december. Both sides continually give the ball away with some shocking passing.

Our guests almost capitalise on our customary cock up midway through the half when Elliot stumbles out on the left whilst in possession, allowing an attacker in. But fortunately, we’re quick to cover for once and his rather forced effort is rather comfortably fieded by Wilson down at his near post.

The U’s response is swift as a minute later, Conroy makes use of some progress down on the right and his ball inside finds Fear, who proceeds to drop a well aimed little ball over the top towards the far post. Boosey takes it on his chest, but it won’t come down quickly enough for the shaven headed one and the moments hesitation allows a defender to get back and get an all important foot in before Glenn can shoot.

Then it’s back to the rather dull forgettable stuff for a good ten minutes or so. Somehow, I manage not to nod off.

Worse luck.

With 37 minutes played, there’s a loud shout for a peno from Sutton when Eddie is unceremoniously upended out on the left side of the box. But the ref is right there and instead awards a free-kick just the other side of the line. The resulting free-kick is played to the near post where the ‘keeper surprisingly fumbles a routine catch and has o be helped out by his defence, who clear as quickly as possible. Boosey’s resulting shot from the edge of the box fails to trouble Yeading any further, flying a good few feet over the bar.

With the break approaching, we wander towards the bar, eager to see something interesting. Like a beer mat perhaps. As we await the whistle and our awaited escape to alcohol, the visitors almost nose in front.

A throw from our left isn’t well defended. It’s helped on into the centre of the area where a deft little flick sees it bobble agonisingly wide of the far post.

Christ that was boring. I need a drink.

Sadly, any hopes of the second half improving on the first go unfulfilled as the 2nd 45 turns out to be utterly mind numbingly boring.

In fact, it’s so poor, I don’t need my notebook until the 75th minute.

Before then, the only moments worth mentioning is the Yeading no3 managing to avoid a red card. First he chops down Conroy in full flow with no attempt to play the ball. Unfortunately, the ref slightly spoils his performance by just giving him a talking to when it’s clearly a booking.

Naturally Mr 3 makes the most of his let off by sycthing down Gray barely a couple of minutes later. Of course, THIS time he gets a card.  Cheers ref.

Still, they could have 3-4 sent off and we still wouldn’t score.

But back to the 75th min. A high ball out to the left finds Gonsalves pushing up and in a bit of space. He cleverly clips the ball over the first opponent facing him, then back over the next, suddenly finding himself in the box. His thumping half volley flashes across the face of goal and just wide of the far post. It’s a very rare of individual skill in an otherwise total stinker of a game.

Apart from that, the only other event noted comes with 8 minutes left. A huge throw in from our right finds it’s way to a Yeading man on the edge of the box. He brings the ball down and drives a shot through a crowded penalty area. A big deflection takes it from it’s path to the left back across to the right. Wilson goes scrambling after it and manages to shield it out for a corner with an attacker looking to snap up the loose ball.

And thats all folks!!

Unimpressed by another dull game, I skip the post match beer and ponce a lift home off Greek to get changed & get back to the club for Chalmers & Windy’s dual birthday piss up.

By the way, anyone got a striker we could have cheap?? Preferably free??

‘Cos we friggin need one.

MAN OF THE MATCH : Jay Conroy. Just about our most effective player.

ENTERTAINMENT : 3. Dour, dull, boring, tedious…… get the picture.

TEAM : Wilson, Scarborough, Palmer, Elliot, Gonsalves, Conroy, Fear, Akuamouah, Gray, Gordon, Boosey  SUBS : Adams, Richards, Pitcher, Rivers, Emberson

THE REFEREE’S A………again, no real complaints. Outside of the incident with the no3, not bad. But then again, the game was so poor, he’d had to have been a real nutbar to screw this one up!

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