Learning Portugese…

RYMAN PREMIER DIVISION

Att: 532



SUTTON UNITED – 0

CHESHAM UNITED – 1  [Andrews 48]

Well this is getting really boring. Boring writing the same stuff week in week out after another poor performance from a Sutton side we honestly expect just a little bit better from. To be perfectly honest, I’m running out of ways to write “We were bollocks again”. Maybe I could learn a foreign language??

Yesterday’s 1-0 home defeat to Chesham hammered home quite how far behind everybody else we seem to be. But why? The core of the 11 that played yesterday have been here since that first friendly with Brentford back in July and the several subsequent friendlies. Probably the most settled pre-season Sutton have had in years. Certainly since the late 80’s. The ability to play simple 5 yard passes also seems to have completely dispappeared in just over 2 months. This coupled with the fact that most of the U’s players seemed completely shagged out at the end of yesterday’s match, whilst the opposition were still launching fast paced, strong running attacks almost up to the final whistle.

The question has to be asked. What the fuck do we do in training exactly???

Saturday started with lunch with the missus and then a beer with Bob & Chalmers in the Wetherspoons before sauntering down to GGL in the sweltering heat. Obviously a fast paced game wasn’t on the cards.

Ian is already in the ground when we arrive and discussions turn to the release of Frank McCormack. Another apparently not very good management by SUFC. Having had 3 left sided midfielders going into July, we now have none. Well, we do if you think Jon Palmer is. But I’m sure we were told he was mainly a striker? Ho hum.

The side is basically the same as the 11 that finished with a point against Boreham Wood on tuesday. Only Dave Timothy is missing. He’s at a family wedding apparently. Flippin’ people who get married at the start of the season. Stupid if you ask me! Gary Drewett takes his spot on the right.

The first half is as expected, played at a less than frightening pace! Both sides not expelling a huge amount of energy and only when necessary. One feature of the half is the constant rantings of our old friend Bob Dowie in the visitors dug out. Shut up ugly man!

Both sides create few openings, although to be fair, the U’s probably have the more clear cut chances. Matt Fowler shows a lovely first touch afterabout 20 minutes to bring down a huge Martini goal kick, turn the defender and force Preddie in the Chesham goal into a full stretch stop, gathering the ball at the second attempt. The U’s defence (with Mison in a ‘starring’ role) meanwhile are once again showing their charitable nature, by playing some suicidal balls across their own penalty area. This itself is stupid, but when the actual pass itself is rubbish you’re in the shit! Thankfully, Chesham are unable to capitalise on any of these gifts.

Chesham earn about 200 corners, but are unable to make Martini pay for another less than assured display of handling. Although why Chuck is still between the sticks after tuesday night’s display, I don’t know.

Right on half time, Sutton blow what is probably the best chance they’ve had all season. One of the few good moves down the right results in Drewett playing the ball across the box to Fowler who then helps it onto the totally unmarked Akamouha about 8 yards out. With the goal at his mercy, he tries to be clever and clip it into the far corner with the outside of his left boot. Doh! Needless to say the ball bobbles just past the far post and another sitter goes begging.

Then in injury time, a corner from the left picks out Arkwright. His header is blocked on the line and sadly none of the 3 U’s players in the vacinity can get a touch on the ball. 0-0 at the break it is then.

A half time visit to the bar to get some scores and then back out into the heat. While we wait to be allowed back up the tunnel, the U’s are already lining up. Rob Haworth is stripped and looking like he’s on for the 2nd half. Moments later we hear Paul Honey has apparently suffered an asthma attack during the break and can’t continue. Oh dear, that’s going to mess things up.

We get as far as the Securicor terrace behing the goal before Chesham take the lead. A perfectly good Sutton attack breaks down and Preddie launches a huge kick deep into U’s territory. Wayne Andrews murders our back line for pace, nips onto the ball and thumps a low shot past Martini from just inside the box. Here we go again.

The next 42 minutes of the half are from a Sutton point of view, complete crap. The passing is poor at best, the defence continues to play ‘Brazilians’ (or silly fuckers depending on your point of view) on the edge of our box and the forwards are either unable to hold the ball up or when they do, they get bugger all support from midfield.

Sutton’s best chance of snatching a point comes with about 20 minutes to play. Another huge Martini goal kick catches out the Chesham defence. Fowler is once again underneath it but his touch this time isn’t so good. This helps as it completely wrong foots Preddie and leaves Rob Haworth with the goal at his mercy with 2 scrambling defenders to negotiate. His low stike beats defender number 1, but matey on the line sticks out a leg and deflects the shot away from goal.

The U’s only other chance comes from a big hoof forwards into the box that Fowler latches onto and flicks a header over Preddie, only to see it drop the wrong side of the upright. We know then, it’s not going to be our day.

The final 10 minutes are played out in a most annoying fashion by the U’s. Completely fucked, most of the Choc n Amber shirts are just strolling around in the afternoon sun. Meanwhile, Chesham attack at will. Employing a strange tactic of running. Hmmm.

So another very poor result against another side who to be honest didn’t look anything special. If we struggle against sides like that, what the hell are we going to do when we meet the likes of Canvey and Aldershot?? Monday’s game at Billericay should be interesting, one of several teams with a 100% record. And they’re scoring goals.

Oh, before I forget. ‘Nos Aramos extremamente deficientes hoje.’

That’s Portugese for “We were extremely poor today” in case you were wondering. Maybe I’ll give Swedish a try next.

MAN OF THE MATCH : Pass.

ENTERTAINMENT : 4. A very poor game with little quality on show.

TEAM : Martini, R Palmer, Arkwright, Mison, Honey, Drewett, Corbett, Boothe, Fowler, Akuamoah, J Palmer  SUBS : Taylor, Howard, Haworth

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