World Of Adventures


Att: 149

SUTTON UNITED – 1   [Quinton 18]


You’d think that having comfortably seeing off the pesky Bobbins in the last round without hardly breaking sweat, meeting a middling CCL team in the next round would mean we’ll be breezing into the semis. Right? RIGHT?

But, since then we’ve slipped a little and it’s all been topped off with the silly situation involving Nicky Bailey stemming from the Billericay match. This means the charging little midfielder is once again excluded from the line up tonight. Lets hope it’s sorted soon as it’s clearly not helping matters. Still, despite all this, we expect a straightforward result to setup a semi-final at K’s.

We really should know better by now to be fair….

As per normal, I find Dave in the Hood. Unusually for a Tuesday, Greek joins us instead of playing 5 -a-side. This is due to an accident at home that has damaged his foot and resulted in the tragic death of a wardrobe whilst trying to relocate it. Don’t ask!

Bob isn’t far behind and Chalmers shows up as normal just before 7. Time enough for a quick one and a lazy little drive to the ground. Well, it is bloody cold outside. And then some. Bloody freezing more like. And there’s likely to be little to keep us warm out on the pitch, so retaining valuable body heat at this point is a sensible move.

The side changes again. Dean Hamlin drops back to the bench and Craig Howard steps in to replace, leaving Quinton to once more sit in midfield.

It takes the U’s a couple of minutes to get going, but Gray is soon finding Nurse with a good cross from the right hand side, but JN’s neader from about 8 yards drops the wrong side of the post with the Chessington ‘keeper rooted to the spot. He soon gets to touch the ball when a Matt Gray free-kick in from the left touchline buries itself into his midriff.

What is proving to be a so far uninteresting contest is livened up somewhat by the visitors no5 & skipper after about 17 minutes. With a non-descript free-kick to take around 15 yards inside his own half and a few yards in from the touchline. We expect him to launch it up field. So does he most likely. But what we get is a rather terrible shanked effort that flies into touch having gone no more than 5 yards. Such talent, such composure! Careful lads, we could be in trouble here!!

Within a minute or so, we finally manage to break the deadlock. Fowler gets the ball just inside the box on the right & lays it into the path of the oncoming Gray. He skips past a defender and whips the ball into the box, finding Quinton at the back post. He gets highest and powers a header in off the post to make it 1-0. About bloody time. Right, hatful please? Pretty please?

Another chance comes within a couple of minutes later. Hanlan plays a great ball out to the right for Gray. He again attacks the full-back and getting to the bye line, pulls the ball back for Fowler lurking in the box. His shot is blocked in the area & rebounds out to Honey who zips a shot straight back, but just wide of the target.

A rare foray forwards from the visitors on 26 minutes gives us a bit of a scare. A move down the right hand side leads to a low ball across the box that everyone seems to stand and watch as it trundles along it’s merry way just past the far post. Another one follows a minute or two later when a deep free-kick is flicked on at the edge of the box. But Patsy gets in and prods the ball away from the danger area.

The rest of the half then descends into can’t-be-arsed tedium, with the U’s failing to really step up a gear and attack the visitors. We fail to see the funny side of this, mainly due to the fact it’s really really fucking cold out here, we’re still only a goal up and therefore could be mere moments away from a score levelling fuck up.

It’s not until the final couple of minutes of the half do we really threaten again. First off Gray whips in a free-kick from the left touch-line that Jinadu dives in to meet a few yards out, but his header thumps off the bar and over. Fowler is played in on goal by a ball over the visitors defence, but his half volley is hit straight at the Chessington ‘keeper

But, right on the whistle, a good diagonal ball into the box is scrambled away from Fowler for a corner. it’s put in from the right and again, Tobi is rising highest to nod the ball onto the target, but a defender manages to keep it out on the line. Palmer recovers the loose ball & swings it back into the box for Nurse to send a diving header flashing across goal & just wide of the far post.

Now, time for a trip to the bar methinks. It’s bloody cold out here. Had I mentioned that already? Not sure. So much for fucking spring…

The second half is little better than the first. Worse in fact, with passes going astray and the match being played at little more than a gentle trot. A Gray cross finds Nurse in the box 10 minutes after the restart, but his header is blocked. We then have to wait a good 15 minutes for anything of note to happen. And it’s not good.

Jinadu backtracks to deal with a big hoof forwards. With an attacker lurking, but not really close enough to cause major problems, Tobi tries to nod the ball back towards Iga. Unfortunately, he only succeeds in looping it over his oncoming ‘keeper and towards the now gaping goal. Oh for fucks sake…what were we saying earlier about score levelling fuck ups??

Luckily Andy manages to turn and close the gap, managing to claim the ball right on the line, only to then be bundled into the net 1930’s style a moment later by the lurking C&H striker obviously frustrated at seeing his possible moment of glory snatched away from in front of him.

Thankfully, even though they’re Surrey officials, the ref & the linesman spot his not too subtle attempt to level the tie and understandably disallow the ‘goal’. Hilariously, despite this now being the 21st century and not a Pathe fucking newsreel showing the likes of Dixie Dean in action, a few of the visiting team seem to actually dispute this decision!

A few minutes later a deep throw from the right drops to Nurse in the box, but the ‘keeper is equal to his turn & shot, palming away the effort. Jinadu then gets to make amends for his almost-gaffe at the other end inside the last 10 minutes when Honey recovers a poorly cleared set piece and sets up the big defender, but his effort through a crowd of legs from about 6 yards out is once again denied by the ‘keeper making a decent stop.

What is it with us lately? Every poxy ‘keeper we’ve faced has played out of his skin. Any chance of one of ‘em having a total mare??? Just the once. Please? Sigh…

The remainder of the match pretty much peters out. If that’s possible with a game that barely got going in the first place. We’re ahead and Chessington run out of steam, meaning that just the single goal will be enough to see us progress. Still, we’re through. Just. And get the chance to tonk that hoopy lot again at the end of the month.

At the final whistle, we dash back down to the Hood to get some feeling back in our limbs and more importantly, get a couple of pints down our heads.

Oh goody, runaway leaders Canvey on Saturday.

Should be a doddle.

MAN OF THE MATCH :  Matt Fowler. Only one who looked really sharp out there.

ENTERTAINMENT : 4. Awful game played at pedestrian pace.

TEAM : Iga, Gray, Palmer, Jinadu, Howard, Quinton, Akuamouah, Honey, Fowler, Nurse

SUBS :  Gonsalves, Hamlin, Dray, Boosey

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