A Stroll In The Park…


Att: N/A

TOOTING & MITCHAM UNITED – 2 [Dack. Onochie]


The U’s turned in easily their worst pre-season performance yesterday with this ever so lacklustre run out at the Old Cranleighans hockey club in Thames Ditton.

Yes, we’re that fucking sad. What’s it to you?

Having had to scramble through a hole in the fence surrounding the property after discovering the main gates padlocked & denying us our lawful right of way, Bob and I were soon left wondering if our act of trespass had actually been worth it.

The Terrors had already hit the post with a header early on before ex-U Jimmy Dack fired home from just inside the box after Tommy Dunn had parried the initial effort and then Elliot Onochie curls in an effort from 25 yards over the head of a stranded Dunn after he’s gifted the ball by a dozy defender.

Sutton meanwhile fail miserably to test either of the Tooting ‘keepers in either half with any sort of shot whatsoever.

The only good news from today was the return of Ryan Palmer from holiday. Christ knows what went through his mind when, on his return. he found out Eddie, Haworth and Dave Tim had buggered off.

Missing from the Sutton bodies today was Kevin Cooper, who we later discover has turned out for AFC Wimbledon at Windsor. Great, just great. Even fucking amateur teams are nicking our players now.

Could somebody please pass the prozac. I feel a little down at the moment…

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